Understanding Relationship Dynamics
Relationships run our lives. We are all in relationships with multiple people.
Most think about relationships in terms of romance. However, relationships are all around us; our friends, colleagues, other professionals, business associates, parents, our siblings, the extended family, children, and so on.
How we interact, communicate and work with others is the foundation of how we experience our life — and that is what creates our Relationship Dynamics.
Relationship Dynamics is part of Relationship Development, Relationship Growth and Relationship Building. Focus on these areas is important, no matter who you are. However, the higher level an individual is on the leadership scale, the more important their understanding of Relationship Dynamics becomes, as it plays a central role in clear communication, conscious diplomacy, creating true synergy and strong partnerships.
No matter where you are on that scale, understanding and managing your Relationship Dynamics in all areas of your life can make a massive difference in each of your relationships. When you are aware of how and why your relationships are the way they are, you are better able to take specific steps to insure they stand the tests of time and day-to-day challenges of life.
The word dynamics pertains to ‘the pattern or history of growth, change, and development’. As The Relationship Dynamics Expert, I am looking at the patterns created between the people in any of the relationships I help. I look to each individual’s history and life experiences, as well as the parental, societal and other authoritative influences of their past, as well as current, relationships.
Emotional reactions, perceptions, beliefs and life experiences, shape how we relate to one another. Most people are completely unaware that what they see in another person is filtered through their own preexistent perspective. So, how they perceive another is not just about who is in front of them, but is also influenced by similar and different experiences with others from the past, which have been recorded, as patterns, inside of their computer brain. The inner patterns generally dictate automatic internal responses and reactions. These responses are the foundation of the creation of the Relationship Dynamics between two or more people.
My main objective is ‘getting to the heart of the matter’ by identifying what I call the Internal Operating SystemTM (or IOS) of each person in the relationship. When we clarify how your reactions in the present are connected to initial impressions stored in your IOS from experiences in the past, we have the greatest opportunity to transform, heal and shift your Relationship Dynamic.
It is clear that Relationship Dynamics play a role in all social, political and economical systems, as well as being at the core of family structures, business development and romantic coupling. How we show up and interact with other people and connect to them, builds the context for what we co-create together today and moving forward in our relationships.
Relationships Dynamics are the product of many interactive behaviors and happen on different levels. This includes the words we use, facial expressions and physiology; meaning how you stand, sit, and carry yourself. This is because these things cause inner triggers inside due to conscious and unconscious interpretations of the meaning of another persons words, expressions and physiology.
The science of applied psychology that studies unique individual expressions and movements to identify how they silently trigger emotional responses in the observer. Even the tone of your voice can imply meaning to the listener — whether or not it’s intended. This means that you observe, and also react to other people on an unconscious level before you even are aware that you are reacting. Those reactions can and do determine how your relationships evolve.
The point is, there are subtle and not so subtle reasons for Relationship Dynamics to be harmonious or inharmonious It is quite complex and each relationship a person has forms it’s own Relationship Dynamic.
Challenges in a relationships often have their foundation formed in the very first meeting between two people. How we perceive, react and connect to a person we are just meeting generally has it’s origins in own individual life experiences prior to that first meeting.
The Brain and Nervous Systems influence on Relationship Dynamics
To more deeply understand the Internal Operating System, it’s essential to have a greater understanding of the role of the brain and nervous system. It is commonly understood the brain and nervous system store our experiences as memories and formulate the foundation of how we see the world, as well as how we view ourselves and our relationships. Experts say memory imprints are made from infancy. Some experts say these imprints occur as early as in the womb.
The brain receives 11 million bits of information per second to process, yet the conscious mind appears to only be able to process 50 bits per second. This means you are only consciously aware of a tiny amount of what is happening around you. Still, you are taking in the information of what you see and experience through your five senses and that is stored in your computer brain below the awareness of your conscious mind.
Most of our perceptions, beliefs, strengths, as well as inner conflicts and self-imposed limitations, are in place in our computer brain by the age of seven. These programs are what triggers our nervous system to cause us to act and behave in certain ways. In other words we are literally wired and programmed, like a computer, to react to life and people the way we do.
The relationship with our parents, between our parents and what we witness in other family members or influencers from childhood and beyond, help formulate the basis of our view and expectations of relationships. Teachers, spiritual leaders, our community, our experiences at work, in school and social opinions, influence us and become a part of the foundation of our approach to relationships in all areas of our life.
Our primary beliefs about ourselves in relation to others cause and create both connection and conflict. Often our partner in life or business, the people we hire or work with, close family members an friends, and those who come into our lives for various reasons can be great supporters, but can also bring to the surface our inner programs which includes our wounds, challenges and limitations.
What we try to avoid often shows up in the Relationship Dynamics we have. Though it may not feel like it in difficult times, this is often an opportunity for profound healing and growth. Unfortunately, most people are unaware of their Internal Operating System. They do not understand how and why they automatically react emotionally to people and situations the way they do, and so they end up in confrontation, blame and victimization.
Awareness alone while extremely important is only part of the journey to consciousness through our Relationship Dynamics. It is essential to have the appropriate tools to manage the automatic reactions, responses and judgments that impact all areas of life.
All people want to be loved and appreciated for who they are, whether in a romantic, familial, societal or business relationship. True unconditional love in any Relationship Dynamic is rare. Most people want to experience love, and tend to express love, on their own terms – and that means conditionally. The quest to love and share love with the least amount of conditions and to create conscious communication and connection is a truly meaningful and worthwhile endeavor.
Relationship VIP Consulting
Each VIP program offered is custom designed for you to facilitate any and all, of your Relationship Dynamics, including the relationship you have with your partner in love, those in business, children, siblings, parents and other family members, as well as close friends — and the most important relationship you have with yourself. We start with where you are and the challenges you are facing in your relationships by helping you gain clarity and movement forward as you learn management tools to confidently handle challenges that come up. And for those who desire it, we embark upon the journey of self-healing and self-actualization by developing a profound understanding of, and relationship with, yourself.
Disclaimer: This information is not meant to constitute or imply any guarantee, results or outcomes. While determining who is right for this work and delivering your desired result is our intent, even with thousands of client success stories, results are individual. copyright ©1994-2015 Dr Denise Nadler. All rights reserved.